Boundaries are great and we should *definitely* stand up for the treatment that meets our needs and respects, honors and loves us the way we deserve…
But being in a real relationship means that the other person will sometimes disappoint you. As much as our comfort-driven society likes to promise it via just one more purchase, nothing will ever be quite like being in the womb, comfortable and easy—with every need met before you even know you have it. Sometimes we will have to love our friends even when they are flawed, imperfect beings who are simply trying their best with the mental, emotional and material resources they have available.
I love your practice of talking to your kiddo about their social challenges and victories! We do something similar with my ten year old just before bed, but it’s a little more gratitude focused (only because we get the tea on all the school drama shortly after she hops in the car *very* consistently lol).
That’s such an important one; loving our friends with all their flaws. Kids have such high expectations of one another (and themselves). What better way to learn about the way that failure and imperfection is so much a part of all of us?
Totally! My daughter and her friends were “breaking up” and swearing to never be friends again just about weekly at the start of 4th grade.
To me, it came across as black and white thinking and I always tried to gently nudge her to explore the balance between boundaries and unconditional love.
My one thing? All relationship is compromise.
Boundaries are great and we should *definitely* stand up for the treatment that meets our needs and respects, honors and loves us the way we deserve…
But being in a real relationship means that the other person will sometimes disappoint you. As much as our comfort-driven society likes to promise it via just one more purchase, nothing will ever be quite like being in the womb, comfortable and easy—with every need met before you even know you have it. Sometimes we will have to love our friends even when they are flawed, imperfect beings who are simply trying their best with the mental, emotional and material resources they have available.
I love your practice of talking to your kiddo about their social challenges and victories! We do something similar with my ten year old just before bed, but it’s a little more gratitude focused (only because we get the tea on all the school drama shortly after she hops in the car *very* consistently lol).
That’s such an important one; loving our friends with all their flaws. Kids have such high expectations of one another (and themselves). What better way to learn about the way that failure and imperfection is so much a part of all of us?
Totally! My daughter and her friends were “breaking up” and swearing to never be friends again just about weekly at the start of 4th grade.
To me, it came across as black and white thinking and I always tried to gently nudge her to explore the balance between boundaries and unconditional love.